Steve jobs great Speech at Stanford

"Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower," Steve Jobs.

And how well these words describe the man himself. For a man who takes home an annual salary of $1, it is surprising that Jobs regularly is in the list of the world's rich and powerful.

In his resume, Jobs says his objective is to look for a fixer-upper with a solid foundation. "Am willing to tear down walls, build bridges, and light fires. I have great experience, lots of energy, a bit of that "vision thing" and I'm not afraid to start from the beginning."

Born in Green Bay, Wisconsin to Joanne Simpson and an Egyptian Arab father, Jobs is the chief executive officer of Apple Computer and Pixar Animation Studios. Jobs was adopted by Paul and Clara Jobs of Mountain View, Santa Clara County, California.

Jobs lives with his wife, Laurene Powell and their three children in Silicon Valley. He also has a daughter, Lisa Jobs from a previous relationship.

We present here Steve Jobs' Commencement address at Stanford University where he speaks about the highs and lows of life, how to counter challenges and how to fight the odds to come out victorious. Jobs delivered this speech on June 12, 2005.

I am honoured to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world.

I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born.

My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption.

She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife.

Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl.

So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course."

My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers.

She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later, I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition.

After six months, I couldn't see the value in it.

I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out.

And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK.

It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made.

The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5 deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple.

I loved it.

And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on.

Let me give you one example: Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in thecountry.

Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed.

Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this.

I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great.

It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me.

And we designed it all into the Mac.

It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts.

And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them.

If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do.

Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college.

But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards.

So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.

You have to trust in something -- your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.

This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky -- I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4,000 employees.

We had just released our finest creation - the Macintosh -- a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired.

How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well.

But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out.

When we did, our board of directors sided with him.

So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down -- that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me.

I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologise for screwing up so badly.

I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me -- I still loved what I did.

The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.

The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything.

It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife.

Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world.

In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance.

And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it.

Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick.

Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did.

You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers.

Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work.

And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.

If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle.

As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on.

So keep looking until you find it.

Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right."

It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?"

And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.

Because almost everything -- all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure -- these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.

Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.

You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas.

I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months.

My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die.

It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months.

It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day.

Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor.

I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery.

I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades.

Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there.

And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new.

Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking.

Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.

They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation.

It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch.

This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras.

It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue.

It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age.

On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous.

Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off.

Stay Hungry.

Stay Foolish.

And I have always wished that for myself.

And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you.

Sree...

Best inspiration speech

Following is the speech by Chetan Bhagat given at the orientation programme for the new batch of MBA students at Symbiosis, Pune.

Good Morning everyone and thank you for giving me this chance to speak to you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college, leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few days in human life when one is truly elated. The first day in college is one of them. When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling in your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would the teachers be like, who are my new classmates – there is so much to be curious about. I call this excitement, the spark within you that makes you feel truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the spark shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the time.

Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year old twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A story from daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for birthday party – several months in advance – just for the day they will cut their own birthday cake.

I see students like you, and I still see some sparks. But when I see older people, the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age, the spark fades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected, aimless and bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab We Met vs the second half? That is what happens when the spark is lost. So how to save the spark?

Imagine the spark to be a lamp’s flame. The first aspect is nurturing – to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard against storms.

To nurture, always have goals. It is human nature to strive, improve and achieve full potential. In fact, that is success. It is what is possible for you. It isn’t any external measure – a certain cost to company pay package, a particular car or house.

Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having material landmarks is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where money constraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a big achievement. But it isn’t the purpose of life. If that was the case, Mr. Ambani would not show up for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and not dance anymore. Steve Jobs won’t be working hard to make a better iPhone, as he sold Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do it? What makes them come to work everyday? They do it because it makes them happy. They do it because it makes them feel alive Just getting better from current levels feels good. If you study hard, you can improve your rank. If you make an effort to interact with people, you will do better in interviews. If you practice, your cricket will get better. You may also know that you cannot become Tendulkar, yet. But you can get to the next level. Striving for that next level is important.

Nature designed with a random set of genes and circumstances in which we were born. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most of nature’s design. Are you? Goals will help you do that. I must add, don’t just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.

There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.

You must have read some quotes – Life is a tough race, it is a marathon or whatever. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one of those races in nursery school, where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.

One last thing about nurturing the spark – don’t take life seriously. One of my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. One student asked him if these jokes would take away something from the yoga practice. The teacher said – don’t be serious, be sincere. This quote has defined my work ever since. Whether its my writing, my job, my relationships or any of my goals. I get thousands of opinions on my writing everyday. There is heaps of praise, there is intense criticism. If I take it all seriously, how will I write? Or rather, how will I live? Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It’s ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices.

I’ve told you three things – reasonable goals, balance and not taking it too seriously that will nurture the spark. However, there are four storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. These must be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration, unfairness and loneliness of purpose.

Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the expected return. If things don’t go as planned or if you face failure. Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out stronger. What did this failure teach me? is the question you will need to ask. You will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to when nine publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians kill themselves over low grades – how silly is that? But that is how much failure can hurt you. But it’s life. If challenges could always be overcome, they would cease to be a challenge. And remember – if you are failing at something, that means you are at your limit or potential. And that’s where you want to be.

Disappointment’ s cousin is Frustration, the second storm. Have you ever been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is especially relevant in India. From traffic jams to getting that job you deserve, sometimes things take so long that you don’t know if you chose the right goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for Bollywood, as I thought they needed writers. I am called extremely lucky, but it took me five years to get close to a release. Frustration saps excitement, and turns your initial energy into something negative, making you a bitter person. How did I deal with it? A realistic assessment of the time involved – movies take a long time to make even though they are watched quickly, seeking a certain enjoyment in the process rather than the end result – at least I was learning how to write scripts, having a side plan – I had my third book to write and even something as simple as pleasurable distractions in your life – friends, food, travel can help you overcome it. Remember, nothing is to be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign somewhere, you took it too seriously.

Unfairness – this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is how our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful faces, pedigree find it easier to make it – not just in Bollywood, but everywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few opportunities in India, so many stars need to be aligned for you to make it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement in the short term, but the long term correlation is high, and ultimately things do work out. But realize, there will be some people luckier than you. In fact, to have an opportunity to go to college and understand this speech in English means you are pretty damm lucky by Indian standards. Let’s be grateful for what we have and get the strength to accept what we don’t. I have so much love from my readers that other writers cannot even imagine it. However, I don’t get literary praise. It’s ok. I don’t look like Aishwarya Rai, but I have two boys who I think are more beautiful than her. It’s ok. Don’t let unfairness kill your spark.

Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is Isolation. As you grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize you are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel, may be different from even the people closest to you. This can create conflict as your goals may not match with others. And you may drop some of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing basketball by the time they have their second child. They give up something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family. But in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise. Love yourself first, and then others.

There you go. I’ve told you the four thunderstorms – disappointment, frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You just need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.

I welcome you again to the most wonderful years of your life. If someone gave me the choice to go back in time, I will surely choose college. But I also hope that ten years later as well, your eyes will shine the same way as they do today. That you will Keep the Spark alive, not only through college, but through the next 2,500 weekends. And I hope not just you, but my whole country will keep that spark alive, as we really need it now more than any moment in history. And there is something cool about saying – I come from the land of a billion sparks.

Thank You.

Chetan Bhagat




Sree...

MY TREK TO BECOME A GRADUATE

Today morning when i opened my Inbox I saw a mail from my friend containing her LOVE story penned down by pouring all her feelings from heart. It was very interesting and as a fan of such stories I thought i can post it in my blog weather or not it refers to me.

I am a girl born with silver spoon in my mouth. No difficulties ,no painful incidents, no sleepless nights and no deviations. I had a royal and graceful life. Wonderful parents ,caring siblings and merciful blessings from God. Anything I just think, would be in-front of me even before asking someone. This is the way I am blessed. All my friends envy me "ohh..gosh!!! ....I hope we had such a merrymaking life like her's!!! she;s damn lucky". yes I admit I am lucky.This is all about my life. Then comes the time when I need to get pragmatic and lead my own life which was quiet curious in the beginning. I decided to go for a grad school to earn a degree in the field i like the most "The Aerospace". The word "aero" was very eye-catchy to me most likely since my childhood. I still remember the nights when I stared at the sky hoping to meet an alien some fine day in my life. I was quiet excited to go to a grad school. This is the juncture where i need to decide a suitable grad school. I was working really hard to clear all my exams to get into the grad school.

Then I meet a person who almost made most of my nights sleepless.I don't even remember a day, not thinking of this person. He is sooo charming, he almost swept me off my feet with a perfect broom. He has a great charm on his face which made any one fall for him. His eyes very sparkling all the time with confidence. His smile made millions fall on his way. His passion towards life made me fall for him. He is an amazing words made me to just listen to him quietly all the time. I am afraid that I can fall short of words to describe this amazing person.

I always heard about love. I describe "Love as an utopia", A land of fairy tales. I never ever experienced this feel before. Whenever I see this person or even think of him, I have a feel of playing a jazz in my heart.My eyes were always curious to meet this person, talk to this person and spend most of my time with him. I never, ever felt something even closer to this before. All my life was scintillating , dazzling and blossoming with his company. I felt for a while that my life would be just a perfect and an idealistic one with him and I am pretty sure that my friends now will be like "jeezzz.....I want a life just as perfect as hers".

Being a girl, I was not bold enough to propose him. I was trying hard to hit him with an idea that i like him more than anyone on this earth. One fine morning I decided to stir up a conversation involving boyfriends and girlfriends. This is the juncture in my life which completely made me turn topsy turvy. I never even gave a taught of him saying something like that. I was completely upset with it. I was unable to express myself to him, which was even more worst as I was never like that. My eyes were filled with tears . My tears were just waiting to droll down my cheeks. I couldn't face him any more. I didn't know what to do then. could you guess by this time what he said??? yup...he said that " I have a girlfriend!!!","She's love of my life". yes.yes yes. ofcourse I completely agree that a guy with such great charm defenetly has a girlfriend. I was pissed off just by my own nature that "how could I be such a dum-Ass that I even couldn't give a shot of thinking him to have someone else in his life??" well probably that shows how much I was mesmerized in his lovely talks.

I was soo much upset with this issue that I almost spend a month to get rid off his thoughts. He's not my crush to forget, I miss him every moment of my life. I got a habit of seeing him every day talking to him almost 7hrs a day by then. I couldn't even digest the fact that I no longer can see him or even talk to him as he said that he is gonna marry his girlfriend and live for ever. For the first time in my life I envy this girl. "plzzz

jeezzzz....!!! make him get rid off her so that he can be mine .I want this guy some or the other way" .I just hated that girl for no reason. I don;t even know her. I never even met her. I was not supposed to say something like that. But I did it.I knew that It was not good but I couldn't stop doing that.

But later I realized that I was just going nuts on this particular guy which is no way good on my part. One day I realized that He's a good guy but not good for me and then I wanna puke on all my thoughts of grabbing him right away from his girlfriend. I realized the aim of my life to be a good or even a great engineer in my dream-field "The aerospace" .I re-focused on my career and got into one of the most prestigious schools "The van kofin fluid sciences".And now I am just doing great.

My dear friends life teaches us lot of things. Some might be joyful and some other might be painful.But remember one thing the lessons taught by life are never sugar coated.They are frank and sturdy.They often hurt us. But what so ever it is, take the courage to overcome the difficulties and strive hard to achieve your goals. Never allow the painful situations to over take you. Remember one thing in your life which I follow most of the times "YOU ROCK". This is the word which makes me to drive myself out of all my difficulties. Makes me to turn all those unturn stones on my path and rewrite great thing on that tombstone and stand out from the mob . Friend's don't forget "YOU ROCK. YOU ALWAYS ROCK!!!"

-Sushmitha

how good am I !!!!

Yesterday I had a dream of all the people around me including god was hating and disliking me for no reason. When I woke up in the morning and gave a thought what could be the reason if someone hates me. I always credited myself a good person like anyother thinks of self. But when i have contemplated and assessed myself based on the true traits of a good human being by taking some elucidations from my life I realized that I have long way to go before I assume myself as salt of the earth.

Characteristics---> How good am I

Fearlessness-- >50%

purity of heart-- >70%

holding fast

to knowledge of the spirit--->60%

charity--> 40%

restraint of the senses-->70%

sacrifice-->60%

study of religious texts-->70%

austerity-->40%

straightforwardness-->60%

Harmlessness-->90%

truth-->70%

freedom from anger-->70%

renunciation-->60%

tranquility of spirit-->50%

lack of malice-->60%

compassion towards all living things--->70%

freedom from covetousness-->60%

tenderness,--->80%

modesty-->60%

steadfastness-->60%

Vigor-->70%

patience-->80%

constancy-->80%

purity-->75%

freedom from hatred-->70%

lack of conceit-->65%

Sree...

DESTINY-deep from mid sea

The sea god was soaring at his best; eddies and the dimples of tide were playing around the bows of ship, for some time I enjoyed observing the mid sea whirlpools and for some more time I gazed at the blanched sky to find the nothingness except fleecy clouds. When the reverberating noise of cranks from twenty cylinder engine along with the ocean sounds made soothing symphony I tried to sing till I realized that there was none to listen except meters and multiple desktop screens. I tried my best in all possible ways to elude my confinement in a small control room of big engine room but the loneliness just like a storm in ocean caused the floods of thoughts about my past and destiny.

I became frustrated for failing in all three consecutive core job interviews when all of my friends were able to make it through campus recruitment. I was known as technical savvy in our class and even our class topper used to come to me for clarifying his doubts. I had never imagined myself without being placed especially after having had 8+ GPA and lot of other credentials. Not entirely true to my apprehension I could get one job finally at the end of our final sem!!! I was the last one among fifty to be placed but only one to get jackpot. Yes, ironically I got a job in IOCL (Indian Oil Corporation Ltd), one of the most lucrative jobs offered in our campus.

When I shared my triumph with my family they celebrated it with the whole village as if they reaped the rewards of all their twenty years of hard work. My uncle who was delighted by my success had announced me as a best choice to his beautiful daughter. But it was not much longer did I realize that the destiny had the role to play it again. I was assigned a job of maintaining a petrol bunk (outlet) on a highway somewhere in remote area of Assam where my duty was to audit the daily cash and oil consumption. Moreover my boss whose attitude was domineering and overbearing was unbearable. Soon I became spiritless and wondered why they required a mechanical engineer from one of the premier institutes in the country for a clerical kind of job. One day I happened to attend a seminar on ‘self realization’ by a famous management guru and then decided to call a quit my permanent job for pursuing the noble profession of Teaching. But it was not easy as I expected to get a teaching job considering my inexperience and qualification. I had to sit idly for more than two months at home by listening to my family woes and my uncle’s nit-picking. Somehow I got a call from CBIT for the position of Lecturer to guide and help students in their technical projects but the monthly pay was not even half of my previous paycheck. I grabbed the offer with both hands and tried to help the students in their technical work. The ‘Sir’ job lasted for another six months until I met one of my childhood friends in a train to Mumbai for student hybrid car project presentation in IIT fest. In return to Hyderabad I had to meet my friend in Pune and he took me to Lonavala for outing where my next future was destined to begin. Then and there I came to know about the SIMS (merchant navy school) in Lonavala through my friend and understood about the life of adventurous voyage. May be it was ordained but I have seen my future and made a determination to join in that school. In a month when I was selected to SIMS through national wide entrance exam my uncle who had been thinking of my wedlock with her daughter till then could not bet on my capricious nature and married her to a nice gentle man against to my wish.

After one year of education, six months of vigorous training and grooming I was on a ship for my first assignment to Europe. And soon I was absorbed by a multinational company with six digit salary in dollars and promised to give perks for my work. But I know it’s futile to think much about my future as MOIRAI will have a role to play again.

Sree…

A Decision to make

“I don’t know what to tell them, they want the marriage should take place in ten days and asked me to make my decision by tomorrow evening. It’s very much puzzling; my legs are shaking with jittering movement. I feel like nerves pulling throughout my body and heart is pounding with lot of emotions. It’s all on your decision; I’ll accept for the marriage only on your consensus and I am sure your take the judgment that will be bliss to me.”

I was really stumped when my best friend asked me for help in making her mind for an arranged marriage which her parents left to her choice. When she put her future at my tip I saw her lot of assurance on me. When she believed me to take the best decision I had to have a sleepless night.

First of all I enquired about his back ground through my contacts and later spoke with him for an hour. Somehow I was convinced and believed that she should marry him given all the constraints she had. But again I remembered it as an important decision to make and I had to think and use all the possibilities of a true decision making techniques before I have come to a conclusion.

GOAL---------àMaking a decision (is that a prefect match or not)

-------àAvoid all negative, unintended consequences (it should not affect her future)

Identify the roles of different people:

Her parents and her uncle& aunt--àthey all accepted except her uncle who is bit hesitant about the NRI culture & habits.

Her cousins & friends--à they have all nodded though they didn’t know much about the groom n his family except his education background.

Importantly, her decision--à She’s doesn’t want to marry at this point of time although she is perfectly alright with the groom.

Objectives: She should be happy with her marriage

What kind of the guy he is--à modest, shy, hard working, reserved, well planned and but bit stingy & arrogant and not so good looking.

What are their neighbor’s opinions on that guy?-à sincere, submissive and timid…

What is their neighbor’s opinion on his family?-àwealthy, not kind to less rich, bit pompous, and politically connected.

His habits, routines & hobbies? ---> Drinks, smokes, less sociable, neither a movie buff nor mad of books. Not much religious and hardly go to temple.

Siblings?--àTwo younger sisters, one married & other studying..

About his Job?--à Very stable & good pay in a known MNC.

Location?-à NJ,USA

How long he wants to be there?--àpermanent (looking for green card)

How was the conversation with him?-à trying to impress her and showing lot of curiosity.

Range of alternatives:

Another match in next 6 months?--à Unsure of getting a rich & good looking groom.

Does she love someone?-à No (even in next 6 months)

What about a good cultured family?-àIt’s difficult to find a guy without habit of drinking and religious with matching cast & status etc.

Is she attractive enough?-àVery attractive & very good natured to get good husband anytime.

Can she wait for long time?--àHer parents can’t wait for more than a 6 months.

How about her family?-à Very respective, known for their helping nature and very religious. Not rich comparatively and losses in business recently. Also her younger sister is yet to marry.

Determine each alternative meets Objective?

Likewise I jotted down all the parameters for decision making and gave weightage to each parameters depending upon its importance and priority by keeping in mind the main objective. Later, I segregated the negatives from positives before giving final count to each of them. Finally, I could see more of positives in favor of the marriage and matching with my earlier instincts I suggested my friend to agree for the marriage proposal.

It may look silly and absurd but even after a year I still believe that I could successfully take one of the most important decisions of my life with the help of brain storming especially given the fact that I was always lauded by her for my usual aplomb and composure at that time.

Sree…